Somehow the impulsivity of going away for a weekend with a girl you just met three hours ago makes it all seem fun and light and romantic but in three weeks, you've had 5 dates, slept together and know the person enough that feelings are starting to grow. It would be way too intimate to go away together then, especially on a holiday. A month maybe, but not three weeks.
The window is now, or in a month.
I forced a smile through my mild nausea. "That would be great. You don't already have plans?"
"No." How could she not have plans already? You could tell inside of three minutes of meeting her that this girl planned every second of every day of her life for the next century to avoid any chance of being alone with herself with nothing to do but be with herself. It was her biggest fear. She would be mortified. She said she meditated 20 minutes, three times a week. I guess "meditation" sounded better to her than "planning sessions." I mean, she had plans to plan. I am so sure of this because at certain times of my life I have been her. Sometimes, I still am.
We were at the top of the stairs, about to hit Lower Riverside Drive where, although sparse, a cab might be found.
"We're all gonna be dead really soon. Really soon. You know what you get from a weekend of dinner parties and drinks and brunches. Come to Vermont right now. Just say yes. If it's a disaster, you take the car and drive home and I take a cab to Rutland and rent myself another one. Who cares? Come on. Scrabble. Food. Kissing. Valtrex. TV. Fires. Alone time. Hikes. Shopping. Kissing. Food. My amazing vegan chocolate - chocolate - chip - banana - brownie - cake..."
"I can't." She could but wouldn't, which I hated.
"Taxi!" Get her the fuck out of here.
"Don't end our first date making me feeling like I disappointed you." You and every other unromantic girl you're the leader of, are and has, since I was fucking eleven.
"No. Of course not. I totally understand." How can you live like that?
"Can I call you while you're there?" No.
"Sure." Why?
"Thank you for the walk. I had fun." Of course you did. You talked about yourself the whole time yet deluded yourself into thinking I did so you could be the sanctimonious victim of yet another "44 year - old - non - absorbing - narcissist." A perfect date.
"Me too." Fucking torture. But I am 44 and alone. Maybe I'm being a baby. "So we're on for a normal second date next week?" I opened the cab door.
"Yes, please."
"Great. Call me over the weekend." I slammed the door with a smiling nod and happy wave. I hated her. I grabbed another cab and picked up my rental car at Hertz on 77th Street and Amsterdam. I realized I might change my mind and end up liking her so decided I better hook her just in case, so I'd have the option.
I bought a Green And Black's Organic Chocolate Bar, wrote a cute note about how sweet she was and pulled up outside the restaurant on 84th and Columbus where she was hosting her dinner party. I double parked outside, left the flashers on and stormed in, confidently marching up to her table. Her face lit up when she saw me coming.
"Pardon me for interrupting," I said to her three guests, handed her the chocolate bar and note and without saying another word but flashing a very piercing look at her before I went, turned and left. I took three paces and then turned back to smile at the table. They were all wowed by my romantic gesture, she had probably just been in the middle of telling them about our walk in the park date when I appeared.
"Thank you. Have fun in Vermont. I'm sorry I can't go," She yelled after me. Yeah, she definitely had just been talking about it. I waved without looking back, jumped in the car and hit the West Side Highway at 79th Street.
I was in... so I called my friend Rebecca and asked her if she wanted to go see the leaves turn with me. She said sure. She's game like that. The spur of the moment. I picked her up in the Bronx where she's in Med School. We went as friends. I mean we used to date and we at times have had a sexy friendship since and she always liked girls too which was cool. "Why don't you call one of your little chicks to come with us."
"Okay." She pressed some numbers into her cell phone. "Amanda? Hey! It's Becca. Wanna come to VT for the weekend with me and my really cute friend Eric and play?" I was grinning from ear to ear...
To be continued...
Posted by Eric Schaeffer at 10:06 AM