I had not been in a lower place than this in a long long time. My phone rang. It was Donny.
"Will you meet me for eggs? It's either that or I'm gonna go shoot dope and drink." I said.
"Meet me at the Metro in ten minutes" he said. I jumped in a cab. "100th and Broadway please."
I got scrambled eggs with mozzarella melted on top and home fries. Donny got chocolate milk. It was Midnight.
"Yeah, she's just not for you. If her last boyfriend was a professional skateboarder, I mean God bless her but she's not gonna be into your whole thing."
"How do you know that? Maybe they broke up because he was all party guy and she wanted something more serious. I just don't want to go to some fucking bar where she'll be all drunk, I mean even if she's not a drunk, if she's gonna be drunk, this would be the time. On a Friday night after a tough loss with all her friends..."
"Yeah, no matter what, you shouldn't go meet her now."
"It's just too fucked up being semi-famous because some people are all over my shit and then others don't have a clue who I am and I don't give a fuck if they know me or not, but it's hard not getting seduced by the attention of the people who do, so when someone doesn't, you feel all entitled and egoed out."
"I know, it's just weird."
"I could care less if she's seen my movies. I just wish she would have thought I was cute and wanted to hang out, that's all."
"Many people have and will enjoy you, some don't. That's just how it goes. Just how like you don't enjoy all girls who enjoy you."
Donny went West at 100th Street, I went East, both of us heading home. I started writing this story, thinking that would make me feel better. I got half way through, finishing Part 1. It was 1:30AM and I started thinking again that maybe I had overreacted and maybe she didn't hate me and I should at least take one more shot in person and then at least I'd probably know for sure. Now you have to understand that I HATE to leave my house for any reason. The only thing I hate more is being in a crowded bar full of drunk people... over A HUNDRED BLOCKS FROM MY HOUSE. I mean on the other end of the fucking island! But I like Leggs, baby, and I'm a die hard romantic so what can I say. And I wanted to know.
So I grabbed my jacket and jumped in a cab. There was no traffic on the FDR. We flew down . I was at the bar by 1:45. I could see a bunch of the derby chicks smoking outside in the chilly night air and brushed past them into the bar. I did a once around twice and didn't see either Ginger Snap, who had told me they would be "closing the bar" or Leggs. Fuck. I had gone down there for nothing. Well, at least I didn't get rejected.
Always half full. If you take a lot of risks like I do, you have to find silver linings or you're dead.
I was on my out when I saw a group of four girls talking right in the middle of the bar. I had passed them each time I had searched the bar previously but was sure Leggs wasn't a part of them. But suddenly, I saw her. She was much shorter without her skates on, which of course I knew she would be but she was even shorter then I had imagined. And her soft side was showing now in her long black Madison Avenue advertising coat. She was much more put together than I thought she'd be and almost looked corporate. Maybe she didn't need a skateboarding husband. I mean you don't get edgier then me, but it's just without the partying and insanity. Again I had to stand, feeling like an asshole, until there was an opening in her conversation. I caught two of the girls she was talking to glancing at me as if she was aware I was there and had told them. Being in the mood I was in, I of course was sure she had said something like, "Oh my God, there's that creepy old guy who stalked me at the game and now he's here at the bar. Don't stop talking to me so he can't come over." But I was down there and certainly wasn't going to let that, whether the truth or my imagination, stop me from saying hello again. She broke from her crew, telling them she was going home. I stepped in.
"Hi."
"Oh hi."
"So I just have to say again how awesome you were in the game."
"Oh thanks. I'm leaving though." Okay, it's official. She hates me.
"Okay, well, did you get my note?"
"What note?" She wasn't even squaring up to me. Her body language was out the door, giving me that half turned leaning, I-don't-really-have-time-to-be-talking-to-you thing.
"I gave a note to Ginger Snap for you."
"I haven't seen her all night. I'm sorry."
"Well here's what it said. I have a website I write on to promote my book that is coming out in May and I'm going to write about you and I think we should go out. It was on a "I heart Leggs Luthor" sign I made." She laughed and actually faced me now. A small victory. "Do you want to have tea with me sometime?"
"I think so. My head is just a little all over the place right now. Can we talk next week?"
She was the kind of drunk that someone is then they've only had a couple drinks but it was on top of a physically and emotionally exhausting day so they're drunker than they normally would be under normal circumstances, she wasn't drunk like a girl who had hunkered down for some serious drunk drinking. I didn't know if she meant she was out of it because of that or because of an entanglement she was still in with a boy, or whether she was blowing me off. It was weird, her smile said she liked me, but the rest of her actions were like "fuck off."
"Do you have an email or something?"
"Yes I do." She dug in her purse for more than thirty seconds to find it, which I thought was a good sign. If she really wanted to blow me off she could have denied having one or just said she really wasn't single or whatever. I took the card.
"What's your real name?" At least I deserved that.
"Anna."
"Anna?"
"Yes. Anna."
So it wasn't Dana but Anna. Apparently along with my eyes my hearing is going too. I should just walk in front of a fucking bus now and get it over with.
"It was really nice seeing you again. I'll write you soon. Good night." And I left.
That was Friday night. I got home at 2:30 and immediately emailed her a short funny note inviting her to read my blog and have tea with me sometime. I drank a fruit smoothie and went to bed. Part 1 went up Saturday night and I haven't heard from her yet. It's now Sunday night. It was her work email so I don't know if she doesn't check it from home or what. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm not a fuck head people. I can hear you going, "Dude, she's SO not into you." I know, but I give people a large benefit of the doubt, even though ultimately I wouldn't want a girl who would be the kind of girl who didn't check to see if I wrote her right away and then upon seeing I had, would write me back right away, but still... So... we'll see. I'll certainly let you know what happens. And Leggs, if you're reading this... either way, you rock. But you'll rock more if we fall in love and get married and have many little roller derby babies.
Posted by Eric Schaeffer at 7:00 AM