So, in yoga class, standing over the sexy girl who looked like a dark Aimee Mann, I said, "Are you going to practice wearing that watch?"

Now, first impressions being crucial, the comeback to the opening line always, ALWAYS tells the entire story.

"Did you have a better idea?" She said sardonically but with enough of a smile to reveal a softness. She had scored big, hitting the ground running like that.

"I've just always wondered about people who practice with a watch on."

"It's so when I start getting tired I can see how much longer class is."

"I would think you wouldn't want to know at that point."

"No. I want to know." She was smiling through the whole exchange. Another good sign.

"And what's the pencil for? Gonna take notes?" I said, referring to the pencil that sat on the floor next to her mat. She rolled her long black hair up in a bunch behind her head and stabbed the pencil into it, which held it in place.

"Ahhhhh. Nice."

I knelt down so we could have a longer conversation. I was starting to feel self conscious being the only one standing. She seemed okay with my move.

"I've never seen you here before," I said.

"I haven't been in months. I know that's not good. I should make time."

"What have you been doing instead?"

"Other things." She said and smiled again mischievously.

"Other things?"

"Other things that are equally good for me."

"Excellent."

Beat. I smiled at her. She smiled back. Beat. This would be a moment when, if interested, she might ask me a question... She didn't. I chalked it up to nerves. While she seemed sure of herself, she also seemed an equal part shy, or she hated me and was just being polite, but why then would she have met my smile so eagerly and engaged me in conversation so fluidly? It must be nerves. A self deprecating joke was called for to break the tension.

"Am I supposed to fuck off back to my mat now?"

She laughed. "No." But again, even though she said no, part of her didn't seem completely comfortable with me there either.

The point of no return. Naked, in front of the entire world!!! I went for it.

"What are you doing after class?"

"Meeting some friends. It's my birthday."

"Today?!"

"Yup."

"Oh my God, that's amazing."

The teacher took her seat which was the signal for everyone else to follow suit.

"I better leave you now to your pencils and watches and mediations..."

"Okay."

"Eric." I extended my hand.

"Sasha" She shook it.

"It was nice to meet you Sasha. Have a good practice."

"You too, Eric."

"Maybe if you don't bolt after class we can chat," I said as I was rising to go. She didn't really respond. I let it be but wasn't very hopeful.

I obsessed about her the entire class. I snuck looks at her on and off for the hour and a half, checking to see if she was sneaking peeks at me, (she wasn't) how advanced her practice was, (intermediate) and how her body moved, (a little clumsily.) She was also much taller than I thought she was when she was sitting. 5'10" at least, which I loved.

This could very well be my new girlfriend... if she didn't hate me. I liked that she was sharp and quick and brunette and New Yorky and in yoga and she must be single if she was going out with "friends" for her birthday, and hadn't dropped the B word. A lot of serious plusses.

Instead of my practice being a moving meditation on world peace, it was a mental fixation on my plan to court Sasha. While not as noble as world peace, certainly not an evil consolation prize for the universe.

Some people leave fast right after the last "ohm" to beat the crowds in the changing room, other's like me, take our time and languish in the after yoga glow. But this day I had to move with alacrity through the sweaty bodies putting away their props so I wouldn't lose Sasha if she happened to be one of the quick cruisers.

I didn't want to swoop in on her in the actual yoga hall seconds after meditation in case I was wrong and she didn't enjoy me, so my plan was to wait for her somewhere outside of the room. I cut my "Ohm" short and was already rolling up my yoga mat by the time the others were finished and hawked Sasha's every move in the dark as people started leaving. She was moving slowly, which I liked for many reasons, not the least was it seemed an invitation or a least not a repulsion at the idea of an after class chat.

I put away my block and blanket and waited just outside the yoga room. There was only one door out and I had definitely left before her. I could see her still putting her blanket away on the shelves. I didn't want to be too conspicuous so I pretended to do something to my yoga mat carrying bag for a couple seconds.... She didn't come out.

I fiddled some more... she didn't come out... was she talking to someone? Thanking the teacher? I decided it would be way cooler to wait for her in the front of the yoga center, where the front desk and boutique is. That way she could get changed and I could BUY HER A LITTLE GIFT! A BIRTHDAY GIFT! GENIUS! I hadn't said "Happy Birthday" to her when she told me it was her birthday. What was I thinking? I was too focused on asking her out. God, I must have seemed like an asshole. A gift would be perfect and make sense as a reason to hang around in the front for her.

Should I change first though? It would be creepy if she was all changed and I was standing in the front waiting for her all sweaty from class. Okay, I'll do a super fast change and because of where the men's changing room is located, I can look through the curtain and make sure she doesn't leave before I get out there.

I ran to the changing room and stripped of my shirt. Fuck it, I'll leave my sweaty tights on and put my pants on over them to save time. I looked out through the curtain. There were a couple people heading into another class and one woman putting on a coat which couldn't have been her because she wasn't even out of the room yet when I left and I had only put my head down for a split second to take my shirt off before I looked out of the curtain and there's no way in that time she could have traveled from the yoga room, down the hallway, around the corner past the men's changing room to the coat rack and be putting her coat on, so I was safe. I put my shoes on, all the while looking out the curtain, grabbed my leather jacket and yoga mat and headed out the curtain to the front of the center.

A vegan chocolate bar! Perfect. That would be her gift. I bought it and waited, my excitement and nervousness growing. People started filtering by on their way out and to the boutique. Still no sign of her. She must be in the girl's changing room.

I waited. A minute went by. Still no sign of her.

I waited. Another minute went by. Still no sign of her. I walked down the hall back towards the men's changing room so I could look down the hallway towards where the girl's changing room was. Nothing. She must be one of the "shower people." The few who actually take showers after class. Most people just change and shower at home, some even leave in their wet yoga clothes but a few shower there. She must be one of them because it had been a few minutes and many people had left already. I went back to the front and sat on a bench... a few more minutes went bye. I was starting to get scared... I couldn't possibly have missed her! There's no way!

The teacher for the next class emerged from the woman's locker room. I knew her so I felt comfortable asking, "was there anybody left in the girl's room?"

"Just one girl in the shower."

"Thanks."

That had to be Sasha! I sat and waited.

5 minutes later I could hear footsteps from the hallway around the corner. I nonchalantly rose and leaned on the front desk pretending to be looking at the chocolate bars I just had bought for her. I felt her near and looked up just as she was about to pass...

to be continued...

Posted by Eric Schaeffer at 3:34 PM

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